Green Like Gitgan

27 Nov, 2006

Five (or more) Visual Christmas Annoyances

Posted by: Josh In: blogging| friends

Jon posted his Five Aural Christmas Annoyances and I thought I could add five that affect my senses in a different way.

  1. The Kay Jewelers commercial where Santa takes a break from letting the little brats sit on his lap at the mall and wanders over to the jewelry store. He asks to see a necklace or something, later he gives it to Mrs. Clause, she exclaims “Oh Kris, how did you know?.” Santa gives a wink. I’m pretty sure they’ve been running this commercial for the last 5 years. I think it’s time for something new.
  2. Happy Honda Days, gee how witty. Get it Honda Days, like Holidays. It’s excruciatingly annoying and obnoxiously politically correct!
  3. Christmas lawn inflatables, the gigantic snow globes, the Grinch, the Winnie-the-Pooh and Tigger too! The only one that I don’t mind is Santa Homer. Cheesy ends where The Simpsons begins.
  4. White light lawn deer. Nothing says, “I’m in the holiday spirit! I want to decorate but don’t actually want to have to do all the hard work of putting lights out myself.” Although for some reason I don’t mind this one.
  5. The inevitable post-Christmas commercials featuring Santa on vacation. Nobody wants to see a florescent white fat guy in bermuda shorts and a hawaiian shirt sipping Piña Colada – even if he is friggin’ Santa Claus.
  6. (Added 12/3) On the suggestion of three people I’m adding Lexus. You’ve gotta be one rich, smarmy git to buy your “significant other” a Lexus with a big dumb bow on top of it for Christmas. At least they make a new commercial every year. I can just imagine the ad guys sitting around coming up with a new ad each year:
    Guy 1: Ooh! I know, lets put a gigantic bow on top of it.
    Guy 2: We did that last year.
    Guy 1:I know, but if it ain’t broke…
    Guy 2: Let’s mix it up this year – instead of having it parked in a driveway how bout we park it in the street between two drives. Then two guys can argue over who’s getting it!
    Guy 1: That’s hilarious!
    Guy 2: I know!
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5 Responses to "Five (or more) Visual Christmas Annoyances"

1 | Jeremy Bear

November 30th, 2006 at 8:26 pm

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1. Each year I think Charlie Brown is a little bit more of an a**hole for not congratulating his dog on winning money-money-money in the holiday decorating contest.

2. There’s always at least one movie each Christmas that features a well-meaning dad getting injured in funny ways because he loves Christmas. This year it’s Deck the Halls. Enough already.

3. Women in my office that way-overestimate the beauty of their own singing voices treat the hallways to impromptu caroling as Dec. 25 approaches. Nobody wants to be a Scrooge, so nobody tells them to zip it.

4. It takes me approximately 11 months to forget that I don’t like McDonald’s Egg Nog shake. They get me every year. (Actually, now that I think about it, it doesn’t sound too bad. Maybe I’ll grab one tonight.)

5. How about those commercials that come out the week before Christmas Day, congratulating frazzled husbands on “holding out” on their Christmas shopping because, good news, their Last Minute Christmas Sale is just for them? Yeah, let me tell you, Christmas Eve Husbands all across the nation are patting themselves on the back for shrewdly waiting out the crowds. Good call.

2 | Gary

December 10th, 2006 at 5:29 pm

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So true about McD’s egg nog shakes. I love them and can’t wait to have one… all up until sip number four. The first sip is ecstasy, and then sips three and beyond are agony.

3 | Jon

December 11th, 2006 at 11:05 am

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Ah, egg nog: like the sweet, sweet nectar of a lactating angel.

4 | Kyle

December 15th, 2006 at 7:49 pm

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Did you ever think that the Grinch should have Killed Christmas and not stolen it??? If he would have killed all the Who’s it would have taken less time and been a lot less work. He already snuck into all the houses. And then he wouldn’t have to do it each year. It wouldn’t have made a good kids book, but it would make sense for the Grinch.

5 | Josh

December 17th, 2006 at 11:48 pm

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The nog. Personally I’ve never had the shake but I’d guess I’d enjoy it. I just started liking egg nog within the past 3 years – I was kind of scared to try it to be honest.

Kirsten asked me to add the new BMW commercial where they show the kids opening an N64 and screaming like idiots. At first I thought it was kind of cool that a home video got picked up for a major commercial, but then I saw it for the second time. Yep, make that number 7.


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