After being inspired by Jonathan Penn’s predictions I decided to offer a few of my own. Keep your fingers crossed – I especially am looking forward to Madonna’s new album.
In the year 2009…
- Newly inaugurated president Barack Obama will request that I actually appear in photos with him instead of using Photoshop to insert myself.
- I will continue to mutter “should have bought a mac” under my breath whenever I am informed that someone’s PC is “acting funny.”
- Former president George W. Bush will finally run out of trees for “chain-sawin’” on his Crawford, TX ranch.
- Miley Cyrus will increase dramatically in her ability to be annoying, but will be unsuccessful in reaching the same heights as her father’s creepy hairdo
- The continent of Africa will unite under a common goal. Will it be clean water? A solution to the AIDS epidemic? No – Ending adoptions by annoying celebrities like Brad, Angelina & Madonna.
- Speaking of Madonna, she will release a new album entitled “Pause” Critics will celebrate the album as a new-era in her creativity. She will receive her AARP membership card.
- Knute Larson, now Co-Senior Pastor of The Chapel will use the exclamation “Yo!” ninety times. Each time teenagers will wonder to themselves if he really thinks that’s “the cool thing” to say.
- Facebook will become the worlds most popular website, followed closely by Zombo.com
- Starbucks will be available anywhere thanks to a new technology they call BarInsta!® – drinks are sent by demolecularization from the nearest location and received via a microchip enabled coffee collar. There will be three sizes – Groot, Malaki & Duża. (All mean large in Dutch, Filipino & Polish)
Special Bonus Predictions!
- Scientist will create a vegetable that looks like cauliflower and tastes like watermelon. No one will want to eat it because it will be called brain fruit. It later will be found to cause bleeding from the ears. And death. Sweet, tasty death.
- Lawyers will figure out a way to sue the governtment for continuing to issue pennies when they are obviously not worth anything. The goverment will lose and oddly enough, will owe each American 4¢.
- After discovering a frozen wooly mammoth embryo and implanting it in an elephant, biologists will celebrate its arrival naming it Snuffleupagus. They will then set out to grow a really big bird to provide it with a “best friend.”
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