In the year 2009…

• Newly inaugurated president Barack Obama will request that I actually appear in photos with him instead of using Photoshop to insert myself.
• I will continue to mutter “should have bought a mac” under my breath whenever I am informed that someone’s PC is “acting funny.”
• Former president George W. Bush will finally run out of trees for “chain-sawin’” on his Crawford, TX ranch.
• Miley Cyrus will increase dramatically in her ability to be annoying, but will be unsuccessful in reaching the same heights as  her father’s creepy hairdo
• The continent of Africa will unite under a common goal.  Will it be clean water? A solution to the AIDS epidemic? No – Ending adoptions by annoying celebrities like Brad, Angelina & Madonna.
• Speaking of Madonna, she will release a new album entitled “Pause” Critics will celebrate the album as a new-era in her creativity. She will receive her AARP membership card.
• Knute Larson, now Co-Senior Pastor of The Chapel will use the exclamation “Yo!” ninety times. Each time teenagers will wonder to themselves if he really thinks that’s “the cool thing” to say.
• Facebook will become the worlds most popular website, followed closely by Zombo.com
• Starbucks will be available anywhere thanks to a new technology they call BarInsta!® – drinks are sent by demolecularization from the nearest location and received via a microchip enabled coffee collar. There will be three sizes – Groot, Malaki & Duża.  (All mean large in Dutch, Filipino & Polish)

Special Bonus Predictions!

• Scientist will create a vegetable that looks like cauliflower and tastes like watermelon. No one will want to eat it because it will be called brain fruit. It later will be found to cause bleeding from the ears. And death. Sweet, tasty death.
• Lawyers will figure out a way to sue the governtment for continuing to issue pennies when they are obviously not worth anything. The goverment will lose and oddly enough, will owe each American 4¢.
• After discovering a frozen wooly mammoth embryo and implanting it in an elephant, biologists will celebrate its arrival naming it Snuffleupagus. They will then set out to grow a really big bird to provide it with a “best friend.”

Come on Josh, it’s been 2008 for over a month-and-a-half – and besides, who are you even talking to anyway?

The people who occasionally stop by to see if I’ve written something…

…and then leave immediately when they see its still the same old crap from months ago?

You know, whenever I have a conversation with you like this you’re never supportive or helpful?

So what?

All I’m saying is that it would be nice if you could help me by being constructive – try and help me with this, you know it’s been a while.

Fine, what do you want me to do?

Ask me some questions, guide the conversation, help me be interesting.

You got it captain.

Don’t call me captain.

No problem, chief. So what’s new?

Thanks for the open ended question – that really helps.

Look, if we’re gonna do this, we’re gonna do it my way – capiche?

You got it, buddy. Okay, what’s new? Well I finally got the new Mac OS installed…

Software installation, that’s what you’re gonna talk about after months of nothing?

It get’s me back into my groove, I’m sure I’ll have more to say on other non-tech stuff, just roll with it, okay?

Fine, but make it short.

Deal – so 10.5 Leopard – getting it working on my PowerBook G4 was nothing short of a nightmare, 4 calls to AppleCare, 3 shipments from Apple and a trip to the Apple Store in Lyndhurst added up to a little over 45 days of trying to install an operating system. So far I like it – it’s not the most incredible changes I’ve seen – there’s a lot I haven’t had a chance to use (TimeMachine for one) but overall I think it sets the stage for some really great software development in the next few years. I hate that it took so long to get it installed…

Wait a minute – 45+ days to get a piece of software working?

Yep, I pre-ordered a 5-license pack from Amazon – it didn’t install, told me it was bad media / disk error. So I called AppleCare, they sent me a OEM disk with Leopard on it – for an iMac. It of course didn’t work since the iMac is an Intel and my PowerBook is a PowerPC processor. So I called them again and they sent me another disc. It was once again, an OEM disk – for an iMac. Finally they sent me a new retail package of Leopard – I went to install again and it failed. A trip the Apple store somehow magically made it install.

What do you mean magically?

I mean that the disc just worked – no “Genius Bar” wizardry, just a simple “Insert disc, restart, begin install, install complete”. It was the weirdest thing I’ve ever seen. The Apple store is magic – that’s the only explanation.

Wierd – hey I noticed that Andy stopped by and left a note wondering where your pre-Macworld Expo predictions were.

Yeah, I usually try to make a few guesses about what I think will happen but I had a dentist appointment that morning and didn’t actually make it to my computer until after the keynote presentation had started.

So what do you think of what did happen?

Look at you, playing right along with the tech questions. The MacBook Air – pretty cool. Do I see myself ever owning one – not in its current specs. It’s a neat little, light machine but the novelty of a lightweight machine – at least at this point – doesn’t justify the expense. Don’t get me wrong – I think its cool, but at this point it doesn’t really appeal to me. The AppleTV on the other hand has found its way into my living room. And I love it.

But don’t you need an HDTV to use those?

Yes, you do and I actually won one at my company Christmas party – it’s really nice. A 32″ Panasonic – the Wii looks great on it, but I don’t have HD cable service and would rather not spend the money every month just so Dirty Jobs looks extra dirty. So an AppleTV seems like just the right thing for getting HD content – especially now with HD rentals.

So that means no Blu-Ray or HD-DVD player in the living room?

Well at least at this point, there’ve been some real big gains on the Blu-Ray side in terms of studios announcing that they’ll be using Blu-Ray. I don’t like the DRM on either side, but of the two I was hoping Blu-Ray would come out on top – mostly because Blu-Ray discs are higher density and hold up to 5o GB on a dual-layer disc.

That was really nerdy sounding.

Yeah, I know! Overall I still think downloading your media is the best way to go – and the AppleTV is a great way to do just that.

Anything else you want to geek out on from Macworld?

Sure, Time Capsule a wireless router with up to 1 Terabyte of storage space that works with Time Machine, OS X 10.5’s automatic backup application. I’ve hesitated to use Time Machine because I don’t want to plug my PowerBook into an external drive every time it needs to backup. This does the backup wirelessly and functions as a file and print server.

So I suppose you want one of those too?

Of course I do, and I actually have one on order – a few weeks ago the trusty Linksys WRT54G suddenly started losing its settings and forgetting that it was supposed to do more than sit on my desk and blink. So I ordered one only to find out that the ship date was set for “February”. So I’m waiting for it.

Ahh, the little ones – how are they?

Great segue…

Well it was until you pointed out the fact that I had just made a segue.

The kids are great – Amelia is doing awesome in kindergarten, Wilbur is a quiet, well behaved pre-schooler and Orville is testing out the Terribles at the end of his Two’s.

Really – that bad huh?

No it’s not bad but little man has figured out how to throw a royal fit. He’ll tell us “no.” – it’s quite amazing how two little letters – when spoken by a belligerent child can immediately affect your attitude.

Don’t you mean effect?

No, I’m pretty sure I don’t. I mean affect. Look it up.

No, I believe you – go on.

Yeah he’s really becoming a little talker. Wilbur on the other hand, I guess only really has a lot to say at home – he’s at that stage where everything is a “why” question and many times his mouth can’t keep up with what his brain is telling him to say. Sometimes its really cute – other times I’m like “take a breath and start over.” And he’s sleeping on a top bunk – he loves it.

That’s neat. Anything new in the world of pre-school aged girls?

That’s a really creepy way to ask that question – what if you just ask how Amelia is doing?

Fine – how is she doing?

Well she just went to a Hannah Montana birthday.

Isn’t that a bit mature for a 6 year-old?

That’s what I thought too – what kind of parent lets their six year-old watch some hormone-fueled, eye-shadow & lipstick wearing pre-teen drama?

Yeah?! That kind of show has way too many hyphenated adjectives for a 6 year-old.

Exactly. Wow, we’re actually agreeing on something!

You’re actually making sense and not talking about computer nerdery.

You’re right and it feels, um, normal.

Normal? You might be pushing it…

You’re probably right. I’m gonna quit while I’m ahead.

Governor Ted Strickland held a news conference Tuesday to address the severe winter weather hitting the state of Ohio.The National Weather Service says snow could fall at a rate of up to two inches per hour in some spots, and northeast Ohio could get as much as 20 inches by tomorrow night.
A blizzard warning is up for several counties in the state’s northwest corner, where winds are expected to kick up later today and bring whiteout conditions.

In a stunning turn of events Kirsten’s sister places a phone call to her infoming her that she has “a crazy idea.” Despite the fact that the largest snow storm of recent history currently has Northeast Ohio in its icy grip she wants to take a few gallons of paint to her house, currently being refurbished. Asking Kirsten if she’d like to ride along she informed her sister that “unfortunately I still have full mental capacity and don’t think going out in this weather is an idea that a sane person would entertain.” The sister-in-law could not be reached for further comment.

(Well actually she could but I just didn’t want to get into it, so I didn’t call. Besides, this post will probably get me in enough trouble as it is.)

Yesterday we planned on having 19 people in our house. The roll call was as follows:

• The Smith Family (Us) 5
• The Smith Family (My Parents, Brothers & Sister-in-law) 5
• The Winkelmann Family (Kirsten’s Dad & Brother) 2
• The Huber’s (Kirsten’s Sister, Brother-in-law and their infant son (3)
• The Hart Family (My Uncle, Aunt and Cousins) 4

Add it up and it’s not such a small family. It’s actually quite large compared to what I was used to as a kid. Unfortunately one of my cousins was sick and so he and my aunt couldn’t make it. But still, we had a crowd in our little living room and dining room. It was fun to see everybody talking and enjoying each other. It made me think how in less than a decade, God willing, our family will be even bigger.

We prepared for a crowd so 6 1/4 lbs. of browned hamburger, 6 cans of Manwich, 42 buns and a few bags of chips and pretzels and a few bottles of pop waited for our guests. After everyone had their first helpings I started to get my plate together as I did that I started to think about what was going on.

Here we were celebrating our baby’s 2nd birthday, lots of food, presents, smiles and fun – and in the midst of it I started to wonder about my kids birth parents. Specifically their mother. Did she remember that two years ago that day she gave birth to a little boy? Did she mourn the fact that she wasn’t celebrating it with him? What would this day have been like if he was with her? Would there have been presents? Food? A celebration at all?

After we ate we opened the gifts, then gathered around little Orville with a big double layer chocolate-chip cookie instead of a cake. With 16 people gathered around him we sang happy birthday. He’s probably never been the sole attention of so many people, it was all a little too much for him. As we sang, he started to cry. I calmed him down and he tore into his birthday cookie with all the fervor that a two-year old boy can have.

It was a neat place to be and I feel blessed that it was in our home, with our family.

Happy Birthday little man.