a slight emotional breakdown

i am very excited about becoming a mom. it’s been a lifetime desire. and it’s taken the past two and a half years to get to this point. but last night as we climbed into bed, i felt sad. it really hit me for the first time that josh and i only have two nights left as just us. i cried, a lot. and josh held me and promised that while things will change, we’ll still be us, just with kids.

we’ll be married for five years this august and we’ve had a great time so far. i know we’ll still be married after the kids come home, but things will change a little. now the only time we’ll have just us will be when we go on a trip together or the kids sleep over at their grandparents house. and even then it won’t be just us, it will be us on a trip with the kids at home, or us at home alone with the kids somewhere else.

none of this is bad. it’s what we want. it’s what we’ve always wanted. this is a very exciting time in our lives. but it’s also a little sad. the story of us has been so good so far. now we are saying good-bye to our beginning chapters of marriage and our parenting chapters are beginnning. no matter how sad i may feel about josh and i no longer being just us, we enter this new phase of life with much joy and anticipation.

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