tears
oh, how badly i wish i felt ready to post a photo of the kids. you have to see their precious faces to fully get how great this is. and tonight, as i looked into the eyes of our 17 month old, the greatness of it all hit me. as i was diapering and lotioning him after his bath, and he was saying “da da da da da da da”, my eyes filled with tears. i held back crying because i didn’t want to scare him, but inside was a full cry. my heart was crying out, “my God, look what You have given me.”
and i feel so unworthy. i feel like i have no business to be raising these children. i feel like i am the last one on earth who deserves to be their mother.
but, it’s God’s story, not mine. and He has called me to this life. and i am in awe.
and so in my frail human state, i continue to cry out for His leading. for His wisdom. for His love to be my love.
i continue to trust that He will take my failings as a mother and make them into something beautiful.
i continue with tears as i sing,
“You make everything glorious
You make everything glorious
You make everything glorious
and i am Yours
what does that make me?”
david crowder band