Comments on: i’m just…sad

By: Lori

Lori — Sun, 21 Jun 2009 20:46:22 +0000

Thanks for your honesty. Being a mommy is hard, harder than we ever imagined. Maybe more so for those of us that went through infertility. Why? Because most of us judged others, said to ourselves if we could just have a child we would be the perfect parent. Maybe even promised God that we would be perfect if he would just give us children. Heck, it looked darn easy from the outside looking in.

Ya know what? There are no perfect parents, but you are a good mommy. Remind yourself that you can be a great mommy without being a perfect mommy.

Remind yourself that your family may not be perfect but they are perfect for you.

By: crystal

crystal — Tue, 12 May 2009 04:04:58 +0000

i can relate to everything you just said. i know the feeling of detachment from them and the feeling of frustration with them. and the feeling of not being the kind of mother i want to be to them and feeling like a failure with them. You just helped to put my thoughts and feelings into words thanks for your honesty
Oh by the way i think you are doing a great job!! Hang in there. we can pray for each other.

By: jane

jane — Mon, 11 May 2009 01:38:00 +0000

wow. thank you for being so honest….it helps those of us that are years behind you on this path. sharing our emotions/situations allows us to realize that satan is not attacking just us.
i’m praying for you! often.

By: Maggie

Maggie — Sun, 10 May 2009 00:55:34 +0000

Beautifully honest post, Kirsten. I know that I feel this way from time to time, too. Actually, as much as I love my son and feel he is MY son… there’s always an undercurrent of that “foreign” feeling. It’s attachment and it takes a long time for all of us.

By: bri

bri — Sat, 09 May 2009 21:32:42 +0000

I am sorry that the Devil is coming in to steal your joy! He is ugly!

These feelings are very normal and no nobody will ever understand unless they are going through it. Even if they do not everyone’s situation is the same.

They do know you as mommy even on the days it seems like they are foreign. A mommy is not something that is planned it is someone who is grown. You have to grow in a situation together in order to know what kind of mother you WILL be! You still have plenty of time to become that mother you’ve always wanted to be. But remember that each child is different no matter how you have them. So nurture their uniqueness and yours as well!

Love you friend! You are doing great as their mother even when it hurts!

By: Katy

Katy — Sat, 09 May 2009 15:27:18 +0000

Kirsten, I don’t even know you that well, and I just wish I could give you a big hug. Please extend yourself some grace and allow yourself to be OK with having a whole range of emotions about something as complicated as being a mommy. I’m praying for you, even as I type.

By: Brit Chambers

Brit Chambers — Sat, 09 May 2009 01:04:06 +0000

Ditto to the above. Remember always that these ARE your kids. Having experienced “birth” from both sides, I don’t know any more about Holden than I do with the other boys. They are all a mystery!

But we all share the same Father, which links us beyond anything in the human sense.

You are great mommy!