strange day
it’s been an odd one. went to church this morning since i knew i’d be home with the sick kid tonight.
we always go at night. haven’t been in the morning in a long time. felt strange. but oh, the message was so good. we studied 1 corinthians 6:12-20. these verses stood out to me the most, 19+20, “do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? you are not your own; you were bought at a price. therefore honor God with your body.”
our pastor said this, “we belong to God, our Lord, by creation and by salvation. we need to keep our bodies healthy so we can honor him mentally, physcially, sexually, spiritually. nothing about us is an accident, we are fearfully and wonderfully made. psalm 139:13-16 says, “for You created my inmost being; You knit me together in my mother’s womb. i praise You because i am fearfully and wonderfully made; Your works are wonderful, i know that full well. my frame was not hidden from You when i was made in the secret place when i was woven together in the depths of the earth, Your eyes saw my unformed body. all the days ordained for me were written in Your book before one of them came to be.”
oh, how amazing. God knew, as He was forming me, that my body would be infertile. and yet my body is still a wonderful creation. and God knew, as He was forming amelia, that her body would develop epilepsy. and yet, her body is still a wonderful creation. Lord, i praise You because i am fearfully and wonderfully made. and i praise You because my amelia is fearfully and wonderfully made.
after church, i headed to our local Christian bookstore. had a coupon and wanted to get some things for the kids for Christmas. this was at 10:30am. found out they don’t open till 1pm.
got home a little before noon. kids still in jammies. amelia coloring at the dining room table. wilbur resting on the couch. orville building legos. josh working on tonight’s lesson for our Sunday school class. he had already done most of it during the week, but his computer had some issues and he lost it. at least for the time being. so, he had to start over. the kids slowly got dressed, one by one. then the wild came on disney channel. instead of starting lunch, we had popcorn. oh, Sunday afternoons.
at 1, i headed back to the store. on the way, i heard a message by crawford loritts. he was talking about what Jesus says about storms.
mark 4:35-41 “that day when evening came, He said to His disciples, “let us go over to the other side.” leaving the crowd behind, they took Him along, just as He was, in the boat. there were also other boats with Him. a furious squall came up, and the waves broke over the boat, so that it was nearly swamped. Jesus was in the stern, sleeping on a cushion. the disciples woke Him and said to Him, “Teacher, don’t You care if we drown?” He got up, rebuked the wind and said to the waves, “quiet! be still!” then the wind died down and it was completely calm. He said to His disciples, “why are you so afraid? do you still have no faith?” they were terrified and asked each other, “Who is this? even the wind and the waves obey Him!”
here’s what i jotted down in the car, some of what dr. loritts had to say. why are you afraid? why do you want to run? don’t hide from the storm. LOOK AT IT! God allows the storms. they are often the things we fear most. He allows them so when they are over, we look at Him with awe and wonder. even the disciples did. “Who is this? even the wind and the waves obey Him!” it’s not the storm that is the problem, it’s the unbelief in our hearts. He controls the storms. He controls everything we fear.
i thought of amelia’s epilepsy. the fear that if it comes back, we’ll have to go through the seizures all over again. the fear that if it comes back and we can’t control it, we could lose her. i thought of my dear friend who is going through a hard time in her family. oh, she is being so tested. but, beyond the test, you can see God refining her, making her more like Himself. and it is beautiful.
while sending this friend an email tonight, i said the following…“strange night and day ahead of me. so comforting to know God already had this planned and He’s gone ahead before me. wow! that just gave me chills. i pictured Jesus walking through the halls of the hospital and opening the doors that we’ll be walking through tomorrow. it’s like He’s saying, “I am here. just take the next step. keep going. I’ve already cleared the way.”
“tis so sweet to trust in Jesus,
and to take Him at His Word;
just to rest upon His promise,
and to know, “thus saith the Lord.”
Jesus, Jesus, how i trust Him!
how i’ve proved Him o’er and o’er!
Jesus, Jesus, precious Jesus!
o for grace to trust Him more!
i’m so glad i learned to trust Him,
precious Jesus, Savior, friend;
and i know that Thou art with me,
wilt be with me to the end.
Jesus, Jesus, how i trust Him!
how i’ve proved Him o’er and o’er!
Jesus, Jesus, precious Jesus!
o for grace to trust Him more!”
Louisa M. R. Stead, c. 1850-1917
another sick kid
this time it’s wilbur. just had him to the doctor to make sure it’s not strep. it’s not. but he does have a high fever and he just wants to rest. so unlike him! it makes for a much quieter house though.
we had so much fun monday. remember grocery shopping and then lunch with my friend?
the boys love the ‘truck’ carts. we call them lightning(the red one) and sally(the blue one) from the movie cars. oh, and the strings in the picture are from halloween balloons the store was giving away for free. thanks! having those kind of balloons around the house makes me crazy. which is why i execute them with scissors after the kids go to bed. shhh…don’t tell them. we always lie and say the balloons had tiny holes in them so the air all got out while we were all sleeping.
lunch was great. five guys. it’s a burger place. been? beware. the ‘little’ burger is like a regular burger and just a burger is a double. ran into a friend of ours there. he accidentally ordered the double. my girlfriend and i did on purpose!
the weather here was beautiful monday! we went to a local park after lunch so the kids could play. found tons of leaves. they had a blast!
i guess i should touch on the election we just had. not because i really want to talk about it, but because my husband was able to spend some time with the candidates and i thought i’d share some of his photos with you. and because i am not thrilled with the outcome of the election, but i am thrilled that God is still on His throne and this election was not a surprise to Him.
i was parent helper at orville’s school on wednesday. have i ever mentioned that the kids go to the same preschool i went to? pretty neat i think. and last year, wilbur was in the same room i was in when i was 4. wow. anyway, orville loves to ride the bikes in the muscle room.
and today was another good day for playing outside. a fairly cold day, but the backyard was covered in leaves and josh wanted to clean them up. made for great fun for amelia and orville. poor wilbur just stayed on the couch.
and one last thing. amelia’s EEG is monday, the 10th. please, please be in prayer. here’s some of her artwork she did recently for school. the assignment was to draw something that makes you happy. this is our family and josh’s parents, grammy and gramps.
a new week
my girl went back to school today. i am so thankful! though it was nice to spend so much one on one time with her, mama needs a break! so, we start a new week. hopefully this one will be normal.
my boys were in their preschool’s annual harvest festival last week. wilbur, last year, didn’t sing a peep. didn’t smile. didn’t acknowledge us much. i think he was overwhelmed with all the people and the loud singing of all of the other children. i wondered if orville would be that way this year for his harvest festival debut. he wasn’t, not at all. both boys were all smiles and sang every word of every song. too precious. and amelia got to be there too, since she was home from school. she got to bring her camera along and really enjoyed watching her brothers.
amelia waiting for the big show to start.
amelia’s idea of what the boys costumes will look like.
wilbur making his debut as a scarecrow.
orville making his debut as a carrot. he sort of got lost in the crowd.
orville showing off his carrot costume.
orville showing off his muscles after his teacher said, “show us strong carrots.”
wilbur showing off his scarecrow costume.
wilbur trying to scare us…
he’s too cute to make that happen.
off to the grocery store. then out to lunch with my good friend and her two boys. maybe we’ll take some pictures!
Filed under children, parenting | Comment (1)fever? or a seizure?
amelia started feeling sick monday night. she felt warm, didn’t have much of an appetite, so we gave her some tylenol before bed. tuesday morning she woke up dizzy with a temp of 103.3. more tylenol. resting on the couch all day. and watching little girl movies, mary poppins and ariel’s beginning. her fever broke mid-day and was down to 99.2. then before bed, it shot back up to 102.3. she also developed a cough and stuffy nose. this morning her temp was 102.9 and she couldn’t stop coughing. i called the doctor. the doctor found nothing but a stuffy nose and a temp of 100. they suggested a decongestant, tylenol, and rest. but, what about the EEG?
talking with a friend yesterday, i wondered why this sickness came at this time. tuesday i was supposed to have lunch with josh. today i was supposed to have lunch with another friend and then watch the boys in a program at their school. tomorrow the EEG. and life as usual. “maybe God doesn’t want her to have the EEG on thursday,” my friend offered. “oh, maybe He doesn’t. maybe thursday isn’t the right time,” i said. why? hey, i don’t know. most of the time what He does in beyond me. that’s why He’s God. right?
maybe He wanted me to have some alone time with amelia. she’s such a joy when the boys aren’t around. i think because it’s not as loud and there’s no one else for me to have to share my time with. and maybe He wanted me to have something to do today because while i was taking amelia to the doctors, my friend that i was to have lunch with was getting induced a week before her baby is due. and maybe, well, who knows.
i called the neurologist’s office. they transferred me to an EEG tech. she said even if the fever is gone, and the stomach is fine, the coughing and stuffy nose will make it hard for amelia to rest and even fall asleep, to have the testing done. on top of that, she’ll need to be sleep deprived, but she needs to sleep so she can get better. i will call in a bit to reschedule the EEG, and i’ll let you know when it is. thank you so much for your prayers and well wishes.
here is ameila forcing a smile before bed monday night. yes, those are m&m’s on her plate. i let her have some halloween candy, even though her tummy hurt a little.
now for the explanation of the title of this post. amelia was with me yesterday when i picked the boys up from school. the teacher wilbur has for pre-k is the same one amelia had. she is the teacher who was with amelia when she had her first full seizure two years ago. she knows our family, and our story well. so when i picked wilbur up, this teacher just looked horrified.
me-”oh, he didn’t behave well did he?”
teacher-”no.”
me-”oh no, he didn’t?”
teacher-”oh, no wait, he was fine. but i think he told me something that maybe he wasn’t supposed to tell me?”
me-”what?”
teacher-”that amelia had a seizure.”
me-”no, oh my. no, she didn’t. she woke up with a fever.”
then i remembered that in the morning he was asking me what sissy had. “a seizure? a theater?” “no buddy, a fever. sissy has a fever. ”
here are the kids with our favorite teacher on amelia’s last day of pre-k(may 2007).
and finally, the boys had a trip to the dentist monday. wilbur has been before, but this was orville’s first time. wilbur went first and was so big and brave. he did such a great job! his great behavior showed his brother there was nothing to be afraid of. then orville did a great job too. he had a scared look on his face most of the time, but not a tear was shed.
they got to pick some treats when they were finished. and they made their mama proud. they also made me think that maybe we’re doing a pretty good job. maybe they had good behavior because we’re teaching them too. and maybe they weren’t scared because we’ve made them feel secure. just a thought.
Filed under Jesus, adoption, children, family, parenting | Comment (0)epilepsy
it is with a heavy heart and a good dose of fear(though i want that human emotion to go away) that i write this post. on december 1st, 2006, amelia was diagnosed with epilepsy. she had seizures daily, and often multiple times a day, for about 3 months following her diagnosis. her medication kicked in and she has been seizure free since then. praise God!
when she was first diagnosed, we were told she’d need to be on the medication for two years and then she could be retested to see if the epileptic activity in her brain was gone. so this thursday, october 30th, she will have an EEG.
we’ve been through this before, two years ago. but, at that time had no idea what a life with epilepsy would be like. the seizures were horrendous and life as we knew it totally changed. i can’t tell you how many times we woke to a loud noise in the middle of the night to find amelia face down in the hallway, or on the bathroom floor. i can’t tell you how many times wilbur, 3 and a half at the time, had to yell for us because “sissy was shaking.” i can’t tell you how hard it was to drop her off at school in hopes that she’d be okay. and i can’t tell you how scared i am that we might have to go through it all again.
i am praying, and would like to ask you to join me. i want to pray for healing, but more importantly, for God’s will in my little girl’s life. if it’s His will she be healed, i’ll take it. if it’s His will she not be healed, i’ll take it. but, i’ll need even more prayer then. for strength and for peace.
here she is, december 1st 2006. and now, october 2008.
He was with us then. He is with us now. and He’ll be with us thursday.
“for God has not given us a spirit of fear,
but a spirit of power,
and of love,
and of sound mind.”
II timothy 1:17
“fear not, for I have redeemed you;
I have called you by name; you are Mine.
when you pass through the waters,
I will be with you;
and when you pass through the rivers,
they will not sweep over you.
when you walk through the fire,
you will not be burned;
the flames will not set you ablaze.
for I am the Lord, your God,
the Holy One of Israel, your Savior.”
isaiah 43:1-3
trick or treat
our neighborhood did it early this year. we went last night. uncle peter, cousin emily and cousin william joined us too. the weather was great! a little chilly, but no rain like we’d had for the past two years. the trick or treating continues today at grammy and gramps. they live in a small development where there aren’t a lot of kids so they need us. right?!?
out of the blue…
things will hit me. like, “oh yeah, remember to call the court and see if i can get the transcripts from our adoption hearing.” someone told me i could do that, i think that day. but, i keep forgetting.
or, “remember to call the hospitals where the kids were born and see if i can get a copy of their footprints.” i heard an adult adoptee talk about this. she was adopted from an orphange in el salvador and had a great life with her adoptive family. but, she always wished she had a copy of her baby footprints. a friend of hers who now works in the orphange from where she was adopted, was able to find her footprints. she sent them to her in the mail. can you imagine that joy?
last night in the shower(why do i always get emotional in the shower?), i was thinking about the footprints. then i thought, “maybe they have those hospital baby pictures of my kids too. oh how neat would that be? to have baby pictures of my children. oh, my children. what about having a baby picture for them to have? and what if there aren’t any? amelia’s earliest picture we have is from when she was three and a half. she’ll never be able to see herself as a baby. she’ll never know what she looked like before the age of three and a half.” and then came the tears. the sobbing. the heavy heart for their loss. for what they may never know.
amelia-3 and a half years old
wilbur-1 and a half years old
orville-2 months old
Filed under adoption, children | Comments (3)